2021 / 2020 / 2019

time: 4:00am
mood: contemplative
drinking: n/a
eating: n/a
listening: my bloody valentine & title fight

yesterday was such a long day T-T friday night i went to my cousin's wake, then saturday i got all of maybe 2 hours of sleep and went to church bright and early (i tried to fight dozing off so hard but. i made coffee to go & it spilled everywhere before i took a sip). sat in the car with my family while we drove two hours to the cemetary and didnt get home till 11 hours later. i saw family i hadn't seen in a long time, some i met for the first time (new lil babies!!). cried a lot. i wasn't super close with my cousin and hadnt seen him in forever but still feels hard to believe. last time i went to a wake it was for my best friend. been pretty sad and stressed and getting panic attacks again - just feels like a lot on my mind and i dont have the capacity to do anything


time: 2:30am
mood: meh
drinking: n/a
eating: n/a
listening: gitaroo man ost

going to my cousin's funeral on friday.. feeling quite overwhelmed lately


time: 1am
mood: craving udon noodles
drinking: spiked spicy lemonade..
eating: n/a

another long time no update ;_; to be honest the past month has been a blur. i tried to write in my diary since but here's another attempt~ some project updates: i made a new layout for my directory and added about 10+ more links. check it out!

for a while ive been thinking about making a zine about old web aesthetics but who knows if i'll ever get around to it. though i DID start writing some thoughts about it. u can take a peek on my bearblog and my new subdomain *cough*. these are first draft no revision no research beforehand takes so feel free to give ur input lol

i also been making some progress on gaming lol. after about a few weeks i got the 100% items achievement in katamari reroll :-9. i also made some progress in my game in unity! i keep redoing everything so progress isnt exactly linear but im REDOING my whole character controller and nooooowwww a new inventory system. its still a bit unfinished but its going pretty well *-* i share clips here and there on my mastodon account. *dies*

there's been other things going on but nothing feels worth noting >:/ oh well.


time: 8pm
mood: itchy
drinking: black cherry seltzer
eating: bagel

hello~ long time no update. ive been funnily busy these past few days. i participated in the NADA art fair this weekend :O and i have to do some follow up emails but hopefully i have exciting news. i tried to get a state ID but long story short it was easier to renew my permit instead - my permit wouldve been expired for two years on saturday so obviously i waited until friday to go to the dmv. xPP

i went to the doctor today for a bad rash ive been dealing with for two weeks now. thankfully its nothing serious and will go away on its own but it can be 4-6 weeks or so T_T they gave me a whole tub of ointment tho LMFAO god help meeee.

incase you missed it i also did an interview for the yesterweb podcast :3c take a listen here~

some things ive been working on: i've been posting doodles on the fedi, updated this demo of jade's town (but it has a few errors ive been too lazy to fix lol - player is missing some textures), and finally made some adoptables... have a fruity kitty? :3.

oh yeah, it was also my birthday this weekend!!! i am 28 now q_q weee


time: 9:31pm
mood: i have a headache

first off much love to everyone whose sent me messages about my kitty ♡ i am still missing her a lot but prolly will for a long time. ive been pretty down lately but doing small little things to keep me occupied. sorry if i haven't been super talkative in my usual spaces. been playing furcadia again way more, and making patches n dreams n scripting. i really want to update my furc page cuz ive made a lot since!!. i also just started watching azumanga daioh cuz ive been meaning 2 for a while n wanted some funny hahas while im tucked in bed depression mode. i like it so far but can we stop w/ the adult men being predatory on literal children ;____; yikes. im ready for the perv trope to die already. thenkz. btw the two teachers (sry idr their names) are my fav♡. i also have been playing chulip again (but this time emulated) and harvest moon on the ps1. both very cute cozy charming games. i want to make something with that feeling also. oh btw, i unceremoniously uploaded another demo of my long term game project jade's world :p.

be kind n take care.


time: 6:24am

im so heartbroken. i had to put my lil angel down. i miss her so much.


time: 9:47pm
mood: ^-^'''
listening: cornelius - fantasma but also this sick mix

i just wanted to take a quick moment to update my diary ^-^ im trying to write more, but it's hard ヾ(  ̄O ̄)ツ ・゚✧

i made a bearblog months ago but never touched it. well, i decided to finally dust it off. i think it'll be where i write more article-y think pieces? and my diary is less formal anyways so i'll continue to post more freeform here :-p

i don't really have much else to say.. my days are kind of the same lol. can't wait for my therapy lamp to come, winter sux0rz. i've been hibernating due 2 lack of serotonin T-T


time: 12:04am
mood: ヽ(~_~(・_・ )ゝ
listening: n/a

T_T y'all.... me n my whole family got hit with covid. for the last week i havent left my bed n felt like shiiiiiiiiiiit T_T ive been super AWOL cause i just dont have the energy to keep up w/ everything. the fatigue is so overwhelming. gah!!!!!! im finally starting to regain some energy but now i have a really bad sore throat. the rest of us are sort of hanging in there.. i had to take my boyfriend to the hospital which was scary but he was OK. phew. anyways i DO NOT recommend getting covid and if you haven't been boosted or vaxxed do it. i got vaxed back in april but not boosted and it hit me bad lmao,, like a shitton of bricks!! my dad got vaccinated very recently and he didnt even have a fever T__T

~~~> in other news i joined the smoll net and made a capsule on the gemini protocol ^^ my link is: gemini://cinni.cities.yesterweb.org/. if you don't have a gemini browser you can also view it via the yesterweb proxy ~~~> https://gemini.yesterweb.org/proxy/cinni.cities.yesterweb.org/. i started a webcomic (or a gemcomic if u will) which is still a WIP but it's a fun challenge to create something visually in a medium that is text only. >:3

p.s. is there a term for when youve spread yourself so thin with so many projects? cause thats me rn. i wish i could do everything but im also trying to recover from chronic burnout and take it easy. eeeeek x_x

be safe everyone n take it easy :-*


time: 3-4 AM
mood: (o_ _)ノ彡☆
listening: yesterweb radio

seriously! long time no update!! almost a whole two months........well? what's new? i quit my day job LOL. i hated my job for sooooooooooo long but finally had the courage 2 quit after getting a very exciting freelance offer, which at this point i'm not sure is happening, but regardless i wanted to quit my job in the new year regardless if i had a next gig!! i was at that place for 3 years and i was really always on the verge of a mental breakdown T_T it was such a toxic work environment that even if i don't have a new job lined up, i seriously just couldn't stand being at my job any longer...............2021 i was at my worst yet.... i won't get into it, but my mental health was fucked so i started therapy so that's a start! until i quit my job ALL i could talk about was work, so here's to finally working on some deep rooted trauma i think...T-T''' crazy. i'm still working on some comissions so maybe i'll freelance for a bit in the new year. i *did* apply for a nice job, but who knows if i'll hear back. (´-ω-`)

i'm on break until the 4th, then i work my final week at work -w- so ready to leave that place, lol! whether or not i have a job secured for january, i'm just gonna chill...... the new job i applied for won't get back to me till mid jan, so i figure i'll take the first month in the new year pretty easy TwT even my mom pointed out that i never slept, lol, which was a sign 2 me that my sleep schedule was messed up (i knew, but it feels different when someone else notices...)

okay okay, besides work, here are some new updates!: i joined mastodon on the yesterweb server ^.^ i also am on a few forums! the melonking forum & the pixel garden forum! i also made my own font using this program, which is now the default font of my site! i'm also working on my games in my freetime, so i updated the games section! a few various pages are also given the slight style update, so crawl around! ^.^ (like the site name generator!)